Surviving the year of the Big 4-0

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Birthdays…

Its a mix of ‘Hey, its my birthday, today has to be special!’ and ‘Oh crap, its my birthday and that wish I made blowing out all those fucking candles still hasn’t came true!’

This year there is a lot less celebrating being planned. Last year was the big 4-0. After 40 its like  you fall into a hole on birthdays and people don’t know what to say to you or even pretend to care.

On the outside I know I look the same. (Yeah, so much for losing weight by my next birthday!) But I want to start off every conversation with, my inside is different! My heart has loved a man. (btw- none of my family or friends know of that!) This past year I’ve broken chains and walls down inside my head and have found a start of how to forgive myself of things I had no control over in my past. I’m not going nights and nights of no sleep worrying over ‘little’ things. I’m still working on those things, but the woman/girl I am is no where the same as the one at 4-0. I’m kinder to myself.  No I am not where I want to be mentally and/or even physically. But I’m not settling any more like I was in my pat for just the status quo. I’m focused on the looking forwards instead of regretting things behind me that couldn’t have changed anyway.

So I give a birthday toast to myself, that this year will be just as full of growth and chocked full of smiles and silly laughter. That’s my birthday wish and what I really want more than anything for myself. I want a lifetime of smiles and laughter.   (AND John Bender, I always will want John Bender! lol Maybe he’ll pop out of cake for me later only wearing a little g-string covered in buttercream icing?!  Him covered in icing,  not the g-string. 😉 What? Can’t a girl dream?! Its my birthday, get off my cloud!  winks giggles and smirks!)

~m

 

 

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13 comments

  1. tiffanybeingfree · February 21, 2016

    Happy birthday! You sound much like me, having done much the same, having also turned 40 last year.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. busymindthinking · February 22, 2016

    Happy birthday!!! I am 47 but laugh at numbers, inside, that’s what counts, grin.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mysecretme75 · February 24, 2016

    Happy birthday my friend! I’m so glad you made it through to the other side of 40. I will need your support and expertise navigating the remainder of my 40th year! Like you I took 39 and 40 hard. Had to be hard on myself in order to spend the rest of my years living a better quality of life for myself. No. More. Settling! 💕😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dont You Forget About Me · February 24, 2016

      YES!!!! We dedicate the time to make the necessary changes now to enjoy everything to a much fuller understanding and a much fuller experience! Thank you for the bday wishes! Know I’m here sending love and warmth back! All the hard work we are putting in now is sooooo going to be worth all the trouble! I just feel it! We’re going to shine!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mysecretme75 · February 24, 2016

        Agreed! 🙂

        Like

  4. emmagc75 · February 24, 2016

    Happy birthday! I’m refusing to turn 41 next month. Nope, just staying 40 for a few more years thnx lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dont You Forget About Me · February 24, 2016

      In case it slips my mind then- Happy Birthday! My 7 yr old niece put it very plainly to me on Sunday- You’re not 41, you’re 14! I love that girl! Even at 7 she knew in her wisdom what I needed to hear!

      Liked by 1 person

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