Crosswords in Pen

 

 

Over confident ink blotch,

Of course I know how to spell!

Ebony smell of metallic newsprint,

intoxicates like a bottle of Zinfandel.

 

I must finish this tile row,

never leaving one undone.

Yes it ask for 8 letters,

Why do you act so ho-hum?

 

The clues offer temptation,

my planets have become trine.

Scratching out boxes with letters,

Mixing my cranial noodle like a grapevine.

 

Bold and sour I become,

The tiles mock me in imply.

You mustn’t a mistake make,

The laughter of madness misidentifies.

 

Why do I write my life in pen,

when I know how I change my mind?

Wishy washy’s been my way,

Erased is how it should be signed.

 

 

Pen makes it permanent,

No denying where I’ve been.

Just like Doc Holiday,

I’m your Huckleberry (Finn).

 

~m

 

 

 

 

 

 

I highly suspect

 Picture by Keith Burnett ‘Winds of Change’

 

Do you ever just feel, the air current shift?
Not with wind little one, but with energy’s gift?

 

This life as we know, will soon have special effect.
Today is one of those days, I highly suspect.

 

Close your eyes, don’t just feel- but know.
What is offered in donation, in what life can bestow.

 

Sensations of teeny tiny happy pops, soda fizzles of energy.
Attaching to your brain cortex the effervescence of the sensory.

 

Gazillions at least, rigmarole their little heart tunes.
Do not stop smiling now, for no one is immune.

 

To the hiccups of love, there really is no cure for.
Once love finds it’s place, it will make you it’s troubadour.

 

Giggle this kismet, hold it close, squeeze and treasure.
Summer flowers will bloom, and will archive its pleasure.

 

The energy has changed, the electric static of it is humming.
Smile and be confirmed, love’s change of you is coming.

 

~m

Window- Daily Prompt

Tom Sawyer, Sneaking Out (Color) 26x20 Artist ProofNorman Rockwell- Tom Sawyer, Sneaking Out

Daily Prompt Window
My mom always had this platitude growing up- When God closes a door, he always opens a window.

As a kid I can remember thinking God was always sneaking around climbing in windows instead of using the door. Isn’t it funny how you can remember your child logic at times so crystal clear? The concept of God is so hard to grasp even for some adults, but as a child you just accept it and adapt to it, with what you are familiar with. I guess I was doing a lot of sneaking around myself those days, climbing in windows and such?

I do remember I was always looking at windows to make sure they were locked/unlocked to be sure He could get in if He needed to. Or I had been ‘bad’ I was making sure they were locked to keep God out.  I really wasn’t grasping onto the whole omnipotent part of God at that age. =)  I still thought I could control His comings and goings and His knowing with a simple lock.

Of course now as I am older, I understand better what my mom was trying to say. She was saying not to give up. She was saying that there will always be another way provided, if the one direction I am trying to go in is shut. All one needs to do, is have faith. Just believe, and it will be so. Just have faith.  As a child I made that about actual windows and doors.  Even if I had to climb out the idiom of the window or lock it, it was still a working option. It WAS that simple to believe.

But I’m finding it’s not that simple to do as an adult.

My paradox is this:

As a child I made it about actual doors and windows, and believed.

As an adult I understand it’s a figure of speech, but I have a hard time seeing the concept that helps me have faith.

How can one have faith just on faith alone? Shouldn’t there be works to prove my faith?    In anything? Not just my spirituality or religiously speaking, but in having faith in anything?  Like, in ourselves and faith in others?  Just because I say I believe it to be so, does that really make it so?

It was easy enough for me to believe as a child, so where do we lose that ability to ‘simply’ believe as adults?

Why do we need more to believe as adults? Is it because we’ve been lied to one too many times through our lives? Is it that we just gain knowledge of remorse and regret, and that refuses to let us believe in hope?

I want to learn how to go back to believing just because I believe.

Not to be delusional and not to be stupid on things, but I want to go back and believe in myself again. I want to believe like I did as a child- simplistically and affirmatively.

 

~m

 

 

 

What is a flower? (Jeopardy answer of the day for what will kill me in the end?)

 

Ahhh, spring!  That beautiful short lived moment right between the first conscious thought of ‘the bushes and flowers are really gorgeous this year’ and the first Achoo.

I am absolutely miserable.

I’m sure anyone who has ever had their quality of breathing affected by seasonal allergies they can agree- being hyped up on decongestants, expectorants,  antihistamines, steroids, inhalers and antibiotics all at once, is a drug cocktail worth avoiding if you can!

It’s mother nature’s way of saying, ‘Hey, do you want to know what it is really like to be psychotic for a trial run? Pollution deserves one fair turn to another, you know?’

And the drugs having fun with you saying- Hey you weren’t interesting enough before, but you can breathe now so who cares if you can sleep or even sit still, or if your mood swings from bitch-of-the-century to I-don’t-know-whats-wrong-with-me within a minutes time?  AND You really rock those horns growing out of you forehead from the prednisone btw?’  (Prednisone is an evil, evil drug! lol)

Thanks, mother nature!  You rock yourself!  🙂  There is nothing better than seeing you every year this time to question which is more important to me, to be sane or being able to breathe!

 

So I’m giving warning labels to my writing for the next little bit:

  • It may seem off.
  • It may seem demented.
  • It may seem like I’m going through crisis.

But no worries, it’s just the lack of normal levels of oxygen to the brain as my body goes haywire rejecting all the pollen that is flying around me from all these gorgeous flowers I can barely see through red swollen itchy eyes.

I secretly suspect the flowers know exactly what they’re doing, and this is their plan to take over the world! (at least from me!)

I will not find my demise from a Zombie apocalypse- A flower will be what slays me!

 

~m

 

 

 

Three Day Quote Challenge- Day 3

 

 

THE RULES:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2.  Post a quote for three consecutive days.
  3.  Nominate three bloggers each day.

Thank you for nominating me for this challenge -http://learningtolivelikewaterblog.com . I hope I am up for it!  I’m still the new kid on the block and learning everyone’s distinct personalities. But here is what I have collected about her so far: She inspires with her refusal to quit no matter what life throws her direction. Because of that, she’s became feisty and despite it she stayed sweet. You should check her blog out.

MY QUOTE FOR TODAY:

Again, Leo Tolstoy.

Everything is new through awaken eyes, love does that.

(sorry for repeating again- again) My nominees today are:

Let it be know. that I am a rule breaker. I always have been. 😉  Sorry if I’m ruining the challenge! lol

I don’t want to nominate just 3. Instead I want to challenge and encourage anyone who reads this and wants to participate to join us in a  3 day quote challenge.  You all are inspiring in your own unique way on your own roads of discovery in life, triumph and struggles. I enjoy reading and learning everyone one of you. You are all books to me, but so much more!  I love all your voices for all kinds of different reasons- from a selfish and personal perspective and also more because I’m respectfully impressed with the unique and creative individuality that you each bring to the writing community.  Thank you for sharing and letting me read your thoughts.

hugs* ~m

Three Day Quote Challenge- Day 2

THE RULES:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2.  Post a quote for three consecutive days.
  3.  Nominate three bloggers each day.

Thank you for nominating me for this challenge -http://learningtolivelikewaterblog.com . I hope I am up for it!  I’m still the new kid on the block and learning everyone’s distinct personalities. But here is what I have collected about her so far: She inspires with her refusal to quit no matter what life throws her direction. Because of that, she’s became feisty and despite it she stayed sweet. You should check her blog out.

MY QUOTE FOR TODAY:

Charles Schult knew the secret of life! What more could a person ever want with love and chocolate?  🙂

(sorry for repeating again) My nominees today are:

Let it be known that I am a rule breaker. I always have been. 😉  Sorry if I’m ruining the challenge! lol

I don’t want to nominate just 3. Instead I want to challenge and encourage anyone who reads this and wants to participate to join us in a  3 day quote challenge.  You all are inspiring in your own unique way on your own roads of discovery in life, triumph and struggles. I enjoy reading and learning everyone one of you. You are all books to me, but so much more!  I love all your voices for all kinds of different reasons- from a selfish and personal perspective and also more because I’m respectfully impressed with the unique and creative individuality that you each bring to the writing community.  Thank you for sharing and letting me read your thoughts.

hugs* ~m

Three Day Quote Challenge- Day 1

 

 

THE RULES:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2.  Post a quote for three consecutive days.
  3.  Nominate three bloggers each day.

Thank you for nominating me for this challenge -http://learningtolivelikewaterblog.com . I hope I am up for it!  I’m still the new kid on the block and learning everyone’s distinct personalities. But here is what I have collected about her so far: She inspires with her refusal to quit no matter what life throws her direction. Because of that, she’s became feisty and despite it she stayed sweet. You should check her blog out.

MY QUOTE FOR TODAY:

Today’s quote comes from Leo Tolstoy. But I saw two different versions of this quote when I looked for a meme to add to my post. I would be curious to learn which is the one that was really said.

  •  The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.
  • The strongest of all warriors are these two- time and patience.

This quote found me. When I opened my laptop. It was on my screensaver waiting right next to Snoopy! 🙂

I don’t know how it ended up there exactly, I think it is some new marketing thing ‘bing’ is promoting to drive more search business their way? Maybe? I mean,  I know the widget that is pre-loaded on this pc, but the quotes it spits out anytime I log on  is completely random.

What ever the reason, it fits me right now. I need to remember to make friends with time and patience so that they will have my back in this bar  fight of ‘life’.

 

My nominees today are:

Let it be known that I am a rule breaker. I always have been. 😉  Sorry if I’m ruining the challenge! lol

I don’t want to nominate just 3. Instead I want to challenge and encourage anyone who reads this and wants to participate to join us in a  3 day quote challenge.  You all are inspiring in your own unique way on your own roads of discovery in life, triumph and struggles. I enjoy reading and learning everyone one of you. You are all books to me, but so much more!  I love all your voices for all kinds of different reasons- from a selfish and personal perspective and also more because I’m respectfully impressed with the unique and creative individuality that you each bring to the writing community.  Thank you for sharing and letting me read your thoughts.

hugs* ~m

 

You

Screenshot_2015-12-14-21-28-21-1

Without rain
My days stormy and dark
I miss you

I need your chest
My shelter and peace
It’s you

Blooming heart
Opened my petals
Only you

Growing light
The warm sun
Need you

Still looking
Finding grace
For you

You
Always forever
You

~m

dealing with emotions on the fly

I am struggling emotionally today. My heart is broken. I had to say goodbye to  furbabies this morning, and it is tearing me to pieces.

I so hate even writing here about this, but not because of my emotional struggles. I struggle putting it here because I don’t want to come across as wanting attention or sympathy or wanting to give the impression that I’m a cry baby( even thought I am being a  big crybaby! Isn’t that silly?) It’s not the end of the world, I know that. Especially knowing from reading how many of you struggle with family loss. I don’t want it to even be compared to the same thing.  But it is one of those things that happens, that drag us down in life.

In the past I tamped down my feelings on things like this and I didn’t deal with emotions. I would keep moving forward not taking the time to emotionally care for myself, or let myself grieve or be angry. But I’ve learned looking back it only would manifest somewhere in the future on me with numerous other things that had built up.

I am trying so hard to break old habits to help myself be more emotionally healthy and to deal with things as best I can. I am trying not to detach from feelings because it is easier in the moment to do that, instead I’m trying to work through as they happen.

But I am so out of my element and feel like I’m bumbling my way through. I don’t know if it is really working- this approach? I almost feel as if I’m making more a mess of myself?  I had gotten to a place with the Mr. Bender ‘stuff’ of surviving. But it’s things like this, that I leaned really hard on him. Not to fix it for me. But he made me feel it was okay to fall apart, that it was safe and that I could handle it. He was my encouragement. He made me feel strong. Without him, I may physically know I am okay, but the mental part… I just wish I could hear his voice.

I just need to write.

So humor me, and listen/read my story of my fur babies. I will write it in a separate post, and probably will post it before I post this. If I post this… I haven’t decided yet.

I have to be the biggest emotional fuddy duddy.

 

~mebbd080c-9f62-4763-a256-1db9d53600e3