Fledgling

Gift from My Love Completed by kamillyonsiya

(Gift from My Love by kamillyonsiya on Deviant Art)

 

 

Oh mockingbird- why do you laugh,

With forlorn magic under your hat?

The universe spirals the wheel of spoils,

Yet your quills write love-songs, teased with coil.

Hide beneath your feathers, those rare rainy jewels.

They’re tiny glittering teardrops, of hopeful fairy dew.

Do you see me, or do you foretell my mimicking potential?

Of loving him forever,  for knowing him is consequential.

His elegant smile- opens my great fortress of shade.

And pulls forgotten blooms forward: creating abundance of wildflower glades.

He makes me fly with kind words, and not flattery.

Collecting twigs for his nest, I am his home, eternally.

 

 

~m

Stormy Sea- the madness of depression

Image result for stormy sea art

(The Gulf Stream by Winslow Homer 1899)

 

Asphalt whispers, of buzzed bees.

Who flew too fast in search of knees,

Quicksand beaches, hide titanic eggs.

While ostrich feathered rainbows, served the kegs.

‘The Captain, must always stay with his ship!’

Screamed the first mate, as she cracked her whip.

We’re all drowning in someone else’s crisis.

Climbing like monkeys up the community ficus.

So who else can save us, except for ourselves?

Hard lessons two-stepped, inside of a bluish hell!

Let the music play as we sink our own boats,

I’ll be in the corner, singing parenthesis in quotes.

Stay in the saddle with your lassoed otter.

Ride waves for 8 seconds, with your chin just above water.

Only to wake up unexpectedly parched.

With everything white, and perfectly starched.

 

 

~m

 

The Queen of Fire

Image result for rebirth from fire art       (The Phoenix by Boris Vallejo)

 

The Queen of Fire

 

When shaky legs,

Balance normal.

Co-dependent chaos,

Sever formal.

Magic- hiding,

All along.

With fortitude,

Inherited strong

Rickety scaffold,

Must burn to ashes.

Training wheels:

Thought to save the gashes?

Hurt your ability,

In living broken.

Tears now stain,

You feel them choking.

But think of them,

As spring time rain.

Watering souls-garden,

Knowledge ascertained.

You forever endure:

Called the Queen of fire!

Rare blessing of bravery,

Keep your kingdom inspired.

Hold your head high,

Let them see your pain.

Beautiful goddess of fire,

Your soul is arcane.

~m

 

Imbue

I’m never not looking or waiting for you:

 

Bold crickets serenade the watching moon,

And I think of you.

Gentle breezes lift tiny curls on my crown,

And I feel your understanding touch.

The smell of the first heavy raindrops from a frantic summer storm,

And I taste the charged flavor of you.

 

You dance with all my unseen senses through nature,

And instinctively I open my lungs, my mind, and my heart.

Absorbing the tenderness of my emotion,

Swallowing your sentiment.

I no longer curse the subtle connections,

That tether us, not allowing desuetude of soul.

 

Come to me my love:

In animal song, in playful breeze and in savory rolling thunder.

Breathe into me inspiration.

Evoke and awaken forgotten connection,

Submerge me away with abstract hope ever so gently.

Believe.

The warmth of the sun holds the golden glitter of our hearts,

That innocent children delight and color their worlds in.

 

~m

 

 

Entreat

He spoke my name in whispers,

With a simple blistering kiss.

Etching my soul to yearn,

Reaching our forgotten reminisce.

 

Eloquent of humanity,

Recognition of his blood.

Lip upon lip:

I knew it was him, the one that I loved.

 

Come to me, dream darling

Cross the bridge and awake!

Reunited incarnated souls;

We will save the world from hate.

 

 

~m

 

 

 

 

Dream Leader

Follow my dreams?

No sir, I will not.

They are ‘my’ dreams.

I will lead.

And I will live them how I choose,

Deciding what compass and speed.

You will see me smiling, wind in my hair, with nothing but fires of determination lit in my eyes.

Watch my dreams chase me, and try to keep up!

For they’re mine, and a girl like me, only has her dreams.

Never lose sight of a dreamer like me, I will amaze by magic and show you the impossible.

~m

Moonlight

And the moonlight,  though it spent it’s life hiding in the darkness of the world,  has a resilient soul.

It is the most resilient because it possesses the knowledge of what people do in the dark when no one is looking. It knows truth of people’s hearts, good and evil.

And yet it loves us, despite,  all the same with no discrimination. Deserved or not, it touches us all with its soft glow of understanding and knowing.

 

Nothing is secret from moonlight.

It protects all secrets, magic and mischief.

But moonlight knows.

~m

My Reason

Tiny tingles,

At the heart.

Tumbling smooth,

Edges that dart.

Beginnings of smiles,

Owned since birth.

Knowing you,

My reason of mirth.

To be so happy,

Something so plain,

Finding connection

Fusing twain.

Excitement building,

You are the one.

Belief in hope,

Father of the sun.

For years it’s bloomed,

Without you near.

Growing stronger,

My love reveres.

~m

 

‘THIS’

I have went back and forth,on even posting this? But the emotional roller-coaster of the past 24 has my head screaming to write.

Yesterday was my birthday.

Yesterday, I found a lump on my breast.

Yesterday, I felt fear.

Am still feeling fear.

I am still feeling fear, and so many other feelings. I don’t even know if they have names for those feelings?

And I started my day so normal. As I would any other weekday, getting ready for work and thinking of plans later for the evening celebrating with my family… And here,  not even 24 hrs later. I realize this fear has changed me.  Already.

Maybe it’s temporary. Maybe it will mark my words with its color forever.

But angrily I resent it.  I hate that it’s making me cry incoherent thoughts by witnessing the sunset, and its rise this morning. Or last night,  seeing smiles exchanged between lovers- oh I despise this lump, it has isolated me to these riotous feelings, and has even had my doctor preparing me for the worst.

24 hours. Actually more like 22.

Irony, right?  That I couldn’t wait 22hrs to be introduced personally to the ‘c’ word? That word- I can’t even type it right now. But its apparent discovery, had to be on my birthday?  Talk about a grand entrance of entrances.

Happy birthday to me, huh?!

I just feel so betrayed-by my body,by the timing of the universe. And there’s not a fucking thing I can I do, could have done, to change it.

Not even my words here can change it.

All I can do is move through my day, a shell of who I was, and await results. And fluctuate between angry sulking, and tearful confusion that ‘THIS’ is actually happening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Still thinking**)

If you would claim me,

And call me yours:

Voices would hush,

Demons would snore.

 

I would trust implicitly

I will always be your one

Dismissing the odds,

Dismantling the guns.

 

But being in the place

Of dark in between:

I grow insecure gardens,

Thoughts scatter doubts seed.

 

My feet wobbly

On the side of cliffs

Nails dirt ragged

Joints clinging stiff

 

Strategically warring

Securing foreign lands first

I detonate foundations

From unquenchable thirst

 

Overthinking fantasies

Standard operating procedure

But yet- when I look to my side

You give signs that are eager

 

Hope blooms encouraged

To give it my all

Maybe one day

We will walk after this crawl

 

 

~m