Reverse Axis

 

Image result for hug star art                                                                           (unknown artist)

 

 

Stumbling stars

Catch cold

From screams prayed to heaven

Of empty promises

That never are fulfilled

Their lights blur ever so slightly

Eon after eon

Trails of their tears

Collected from observing

Deluding their sky vision

No longer do they see

Vistas now dingy

Overgrown forest of space are

Untended gardens

Of entitlement

Never hearing gratitude

But banal platitudes

Insincere

Hollow

Cynical

 

Stars were born to help,

They were born to guide

But the axis is contrary

Gravity pushes away gifted comfort

And we’ve lost our way

being enveloped in darkness.

 

It inhales our souls.

 

But child, hear me cry:

We must be different!

We must continue to wish

On sad, crying stars

They’ve lost their way

They’ve lost their belief in love.

It is us,

who will comfort them.

We must be their sky.

It is us.

Unconditionally, it is us.

 

~m

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘THIS’

I have went back and forth,on even posting this? But the emotional roller-coaster of the past 24 has my head screaming to write.

Yesterday was my birthday.

Yesterday, I found a lump on my breast.

Yesterday, I felt fear.

Am still feeling fear.

I am still feeling fear, and so many other feelings. I don’t even know if they have names for those feelings?

And I started my day so normal. As I would any other weekday, getting ready for work and thinking of plans later for the evening celebrating with my family… And here,  not even 24 hrs later. I realize this fear has changed me.  Already.

Maybe it’s temporary. Maybe it will mark my words with its color forever.

But angrily I resent it.  I hate that it’s making me cry incoherent thoughts by witnessing the sunset, and its rise this morning. Or last night,  seeing smiles exchanged between lovers- oh I despise this lump, it has isolated me to these riotous feelings, and has even had my doctor preparing me for the worst.

24 hours. Actually more like 22.

Irony, right?  That I couldn’t wait 22hrs to be introduced personally to the ‘c’ word? That word- I can’t even type it right now. But its apparent discovery, had to be on my birthday?  Talk about a grand entrance of entrances.

Happy birthday to me, huh?!

I just feel so betrayed-by my body,by the timing of the universe. And there’s not a fucking thing I can I do, could have done, to change it.

Not even my words here can change it.

All I can do is move through my day, a shell of who I was, and await results. And fluctuate between angry sulking, and tearful confusion that ‘THIS’ is actually happening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Still thinking**)

If you would claim me,

And call me yours:

Voices would hush,

Demons would snore.

 

I would trust implicitly

I will always be your one

Dismissing the odds,

Dismantling the guns.

 

But being in the place

Of dark in between:

I grow insecure gardens,

Thoughts scatter doubts seed.

 

My feet wobbly

On the side of cliffs

Nails dirt ragged

Joints clinging stiff

 

Strategically warring

Securing foreign lands first

I detonate foundations

From unquenchable thirst

 

Overthinking fantasies

Standard operating procedure

But yet- when I look to my side

You give signs that are eager

 

Hope blooms encouraged

To give it my all

Maybe one day

We will walk after this crawl

 

 

~m

 

Two-Stepping Twins

Hear me whisper curses,
Watch my lips run.
Catch my desperation,
Raking songs unsung.

 

Frustrations we celebrate,
Like the 4th of July.
Burn our ambition,
A spiteful nose alibi.

 

What a game of tactics,
Foreplay of the mind.
Respecting ingenuity,
Impressive masterminds.

 

Curiosity kills fur,
But keeps rapt attention.
Fascination’s sweet babies,
We’re stars shooting of ascension.

 

Complimentary magnets,
Dancing Yang and the Yin.
You dip and I’ll twirl,
Till we wake up in zen.

 

~m

Colors Passion

Color me wistful,

And outside the lines.
Color me different,
And color me blind.
Color in pink seashells
And maybe a horse?
Color pastel hurricane passions,
With primary force.
Kiss my lips fiery,
Take my innocence away.
Bejewel my tender heart,
Coloring in anticipation inlay.
Apply me with substance,
Enhancing my colors.
Hitching abandoned breath,
Sending our hearts aflutter.
~m