~For John

When I say- I love you.

I don’t say it to save you.

                                                                                                                 -I say it to destroy myself-

The old self,

The restricted self,

And my intolerant self.

I say those words-

Not because of you,

                                                                                                         -I say it to awaken-

To be reborn,

Leaning on self acceptance,

For my ascension to my providence.


But it is because of you-

That I now glow from within from the light of stars.

                                                                                                   -And because of  you-

 I will arise as a warrior worthy of love.




He Found Me

He found me.

While I was sitting alone in suffering silence.


I was surrounded by old friends in comfort:

Loss, regret and loneliness.


Over the years of my lives, I had earned their trust and respect,

That they now offered me companionship every hour.


And I was content with them.

They were loyal friends.


Their familiarity,  a balm of ritual.

That, is when he found me.


That, is when he loved me.


Not for my failed beauty.

But for my solitude.


For he was the same.


He saw my peace, and fell.




Gift from My Love Completed by kamillyonsiya

(Gift from My Love by kamillyonsiya on Deviant Art)



Oh mockingbird- why do you laugh,

With forlorn magic under your hat?

The universe spirals the wheel of spoils,

Yet your quills write love-songs, teased with coil.

Hide beneath your feathers, those rare rainy jewels.

They’re tiny glittering teardrops, of hopeful fairy dew.

Do you see me, or do you foretell my mimicking potential?

Of loving him forever,  for knowing him is consequential.

His elegant smile- opens my great fortress of shade.

And pulls forgotten blooms forward: creating abundance of wildflower glades.

He makes me fly with kind words, and not flattery.

Collecting twigs for his nest, I am his home, eternally.




The Queen of Fire

Image result for rebirth from fire art       (The Phoenix by Boris Vallejo)


The Queen of Fire


When shaky legs,

Balance normal.

Co-dependent chaos,

Sever formal.

Magic- hiding,

All along.

With fortitude,

Inherited strong

Rickety scaffold,

Must burn to ashes.

Training wheels:

Thought to save the gashes?

Hurt your ability,

In living broken.

Tears now stain,

You feel them choking.

But think of them,

As spring time rain.

Watering souls-garden,

Knowledge ascertained.

You forever endure:

Called the Queen of fire!

Rare blessing of bravery,

Keep your kingdom inspired.

Hold your head high,

Let them see your pain.

Beautiful goddess of fire,

Your soul is arcane.




I’m never not looking or waiting for you:


Bold crickets serenade the watching moon,

And I think of you.

Gentle breezes lift tiny curls on my crown,

And I feel your understanding touch.

The smell of the first heavy raindrops from a frantic summer storm,

And I taste the charged flavor of you.


You dance with all my unseen senses through nature,

And instinctively I open my lungs, my mind, and my heart.

Absorbing the tenderness of my emotion,

Swallowing your sentiment.

I no longer curse the subtle connections,

That tether us, not allowing desuetude of soul.


Come to me my love:

In animal song, in playful breeze and in savory rolling thunder.

Breathe into me inspiration.

Evoke and awaken forgotten connection,

Submerge me away with abstract hope ever so gently.


The warmth of the sun holds the golden glitter of our hearts,

That innocent children delight and color their worlds in.






He spoke my name in whispers,

With a simple blistering kiss.

Etching my soul to yearn,

Reaching our forgotten reminisce.


Eloquent of humanity,

Recognition of his blood.

Lip upon lip:

I knew it was him, the one that I loved.


Come to me, dream darling

Cross the bridge and awake!

Reunited incarnated souls;

We will save the world from hate.








My Reason

Tiny tingles,

At the heart.

Tumbling smooth,

Edges that dart.

Beginnings of smiles,

Owned since birth.

Knowing you,

My reason of mirth.

To be so happy,

Something so plain,

Finding connection

Fusing twain.

Excitement building,

You are the one.

Belief in hope,

Father of the sun.

For years it’s bloomed,

Without you near.

Growing stronger,

My love reveres.



Reverse Axis


Image result for hug star art                                                                           (unknown artist)



Stumbling stars

Catch cold

From screams prayed to heaven

Of empty promises

That never are fulfilled

Their lights blur ever so slightly

Eon after eon

Trails of their tears

Collected from observing

Deluding their sky vision

No longer do they see

Vistas now dingy

Overgrown forest of space are

Untended gardens

Of entitlement

Never hearing gratitude

But banal platitudes





Stars were born to help,

They were born to guide

But the axis is contrary

Gravity pushes away gifted comfort

And we’ve lost our way

being enveloped in darkness.


It inhales our souls.


But child, hear me cry:

We must be different!

We must continue to wish

On sad, crying stars

They’ve lost their way

They’ve lost their belief in love.

It is us,

who will comfort them.

We must be their sky.

It is us.

Unconditionally, it is us.











(Still thinking**)

If you would claim me,

And call me yours:

Voices would hush,

Demons would snore.


I would trust implicitly

I will always be your one

Dismissing the odds,

Dismantling the guns.


But being in the place

Of dark in between:

I grow insecure gardens,

Thoughts scatter doubts seed.


My feet wobbly

On the side of cliffs

Nails dirt ragged

Joints clinging stiff


Strategically warring

Securing foreign lands first

I detonate foundations

From unquenchable thirst


Overthinking fantasies

Standard operating procedure

But yet- when I look to my side

You give signs that are eager


Hope blooms encouraged

To give it my all

Maybe one day

We will walk after this crawl





Two-Stepping Twins

Hear me whisper curses,
Watch my lips run.
Catch my desperation,
Raking songs unsung.


Frustrations we celebrate,
Like the 4th of July.
Burn our ambition,
A spiteful nose alibi.


What a game of tactics,
Foreplay of the mind.
Respecting ingenuity,
Impressive masterminds.


Curiosity kills fur,
But keeps rapt attention.
Fascination’s sweet babies,
We’re stars shooting of ascension.


Complimentary magnets,
Dancing Yang and the Yin.
You dip and I’ll twirl,
Till we wake up in zen.