Living your dreams

 

(Disneyland’s Swiss Family Robinson’s Tree house)

 

Don’t criticize me for being a dreamer,

My dreams survive like the Swiss Family Robinson.

My tree house

Resides high up in the clouds…

Maybe that’s why

you can’t understand my lofty views?

 

~m

---

 

This past month my best friend and I, made a huge decision- we have partnered to start a LLC together. It most certainly is not going to make us rich monetarily, but it will (I believe!) give us financial independence and soul satisfaction in doing work we both love and doing it together.  In a few years time, if we have committed to it and established ourselves in the NC arts community, I believe we will be successful enough to at least pay our bills. Or that is the plan anyway!

It is the hardest I have ever worked for or on anything- ever.  Because I want it.
I do have a few apprehensions, but doesn’t every new venture have those? Of course I worry that I’ll be able to stay driven. I worry that I’m investing every dime I have in savings toward it and then some, and it still might not work…  but that’s life right? Risk?  I’m tired of giving my hours of work for someone else who doesn’t appreciate the asset that I am. I know most of us do that and I’m in no way trying to sing my praises or that I am above anyone. I’m not. But I am a hard worker, and currently my day job is slowly sucking my soul away, like the pit of dispaire. And this is not what I was trying to type about here. lol

This poem came out of having my feelings hurt today by a family member because of aforementioned decision in my life.

They told me and they believe, that I am being too unrealistic.

That was their words- You’re being too unrealistic.  Then they dismissed it as not even being worthy of their time to hear anymore of it.

Yes, I am a dreamer. I own and claim that I am. I really am one of the biggest dreamers to have ever lived up to the Pisces attributed definition!

But because I am a dreamer, that doesn’t mean that I am stupid, or that my ideas and dreams are not worth living and trying, right? (And I am talking about good dreams and ideas, not those crazy ‘what if’s’ of winning a lottery type of dreams.) I have crunched numbers, I have gotten advice from small business associations and attorneys- this isn’t a spur of the moment decision for me and my friend. This is something that we have given lots of thought to, given lots of resources to, and still we feel we are making (good)educated decisions going forward on this life changing plan. We accept that there are risk involved but we really feel that we can make a good go of this.

I’m mad at myself, for letting someone get in my head and make me doubt my own abilities. Especially with it being a family member.  I know there is adversity everywhere on the road for this plan. But there is adversity everywhere in life.  I thought I would at least find a little interest in finding who I am? I dunno, maybe I’m just being too sensitive about it all.

If a stranger had said that to me,  that I am too unrealistic… I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash at them. It probably wouldn’t have even registered with me as an insult, but instead as motivation. But because the person who did say those words to me and they mean something to me, it stung and made me doubt this decision. It took a little umph out of my sails.

I am trying to remain open enough to remember we don’t all have to agree, and we don’t always have the same view of the world. But we can still love one another.