The past few days I have found it easier to write poems or re-blog songs and/or others words, than stop and write my feelings like this.
I’ve been avoiding taking the bull by the horns and facing my internal struggles of missing you. The nights are the hardest to avoid it, so I’ve kept busy. Honestly there are only so many ways and combinations to rearrange furniture before you wear the carpet out.
Daily I have put my smile in place, though it’s shown a little crooked.But I still put on my lipstick and faced the sunshine… without you.
But you’re still here.
You have not left my head, or left my heart. Not even in my sleep. Every song I hear, every conversation I’ve had, every food I’ve tasted- You. Are. Still. Here.
It may even be entirely possible that I think of you more now. That isn’t even logical!
Rational thoughts have tried to steer me from what I actually know. Those thoughts try to make me doubt my own confidence. But they end up circling me back to moments of clarity and peace with a memory after the confusion.
You matter to me. Your thoughts and laughter, your frustrations and worries- They all matter to me. More than anyone else ever has, and that is hard to admit.
I will never let that go. Ever.
I know this old story in my soul. You have always live there.
I miss you handsome, terribly.
Don’t you forget about me.